I feel like I have been going through an existential crisis. I feel like we are all going through an existential crisis as a collective. It feels like we have shifted into another dimension and we can’t go back. I believe that we have gone into the 5th Dimension, based off what I have read and just my own intuition. But, it has been hard for me to put into words what exactly that means and what I feel like myself and what many others are going through on a day to day basis. I truly feel like our world will never be the same again.
I live in Austin, Texas area and for the past month or so, we haven’t had to wear masks and the pandemic mandates has slowed down substantially. It’s like we have made it through the pandemic but we are still dealing with the emotional fallout from it. I observe the people around me and most people still look unhappy and traumatized. It’s almost like we all collectively have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) but at different levels. It’s like we are collectively all still dealing with the emotional fallout and all of the changes 2020 brought with it. For me, I have been fortunate enough that no one has passed in my family or friends from Covid, but this past year has made me question everything about the world and about myself.
Why do I do the things I do?
What is truly important to me?
How can I give back and serve others in the most authentic and genuine way?
What is my true purpose in life and why am I here on this Earth?
Questions like these have been at the forefront of my mind, since the beginning of 2021. I think the frustrating part about it for me, is that there is no clear cut answer anymore. I used to feel a level of certainty with decisions I had to make but now it just feels like I’m trying to make decisions through this heavy fog where I can’t see. No one knows the “right” thing to do anymore. All I or anyone can do is to evaluate the situation in front of them and make the best choice for them in that moment. The world is adapting and changing right in front of our eyes.
I think my ego has been clinging onto the past so tightly while my higher self or the higher version of me loves and welcomes change in order to transform. My higher self not only welcomes change but also knows that change is an inevitable part of life and is necessary in order to bring in something new. This past year has also made me question, what is it about change that makes it so damn hard? The answer that has come up for me is trust. I don’t fully trust that change is going to lead to a better outcome so I don’t want to do it. Change also brings with it uncertainty. Humans hate feeling uncertain about anything, I know I do. We want to know the outcome of everything so that we can prepare for it and stay safe. I feel like I am coming around to change now but it has been a struggle and a tug of war between my ego and Higher self. But, there’s something deep down within me that knows the world will never be the same again and that change is necessary. It’s time we truly look in the mirror and question ourselves on a individual level but also collectively and ask what can we change in order to make Earth a better place.
