These past couple of months I have undergone what many consider to be a spiritual awakening. But, to call what I have gone through a “spiritual awakening” doesn’t fully encapsulate all that it is. It’s more of a complete ego death and a shattering of everything that I thought I was. Along with a remembrance of who I truly am which is a divine being having a human experience. These past few months, I have been questioning myself and wondering why the world is the way it is. I don’t want to just take things at face value anymore. There is a deeper truth to our existence as humans that I want to uncover. 2020 has broken me down in order for me to rebuild myself back up. It has been beautiful. It has been wild. It has been depressing. It has been all of the emotions. But, I have never felt more alive than I do now. This is my story and in many ways I feel like am just starting to truly live.
At the beginning, of this quarantine I was like most people. Everything was just going so-so. I didn’t really like my job but it was paying the bills. I didn’t really enjoy most of the weekdays until the weekend came where I could finally relax. Everything was just mehh. Not bad but also not great. I was living in a constant state of just getting by and I was completely immersed in this 3D materialistic, reality. I wasn’t living for a deeper purpose. When quarantine hit in March and the whole world shut down, I was freaking out and went into panic mode. I didn’t panic buy toilet paper and water but I stayed watching the news and seeing how many new cases there was and how many people were dying. It was depressing. I would work myself up into a stress ball but, then I would be stuck in my apartment afraid to go anywhere. My job got shut down and I was out of work. I had to file for unemployment and everything I knew was flipped upside down. Everything was changing and the reality I knew was crumbling before my eyes. I didn’t know how to handle it. I was scared. I didn’t realize it at the time but 2020 has been the best year of my life because I finally have woken up and seen this reality for what it is. I am starting to put the puzzle pieces of my life back together again. 2020 and everything that has transpired so far is a gift to change and for everyone to ask themselves “Is this the life I want to be living?” and “Is this the world I want to be living in?” 2020 has taken me to such a low point in order to finally shut out the noise and get quiet. When, I did get quiet, I finally rediscovered who I am.
My religious background was very Christian. I was raised in a very, strict Christian home and went to church every Sunday. Everything was very black or white. Everything was either good or bad. There was no grey area. I was taught you are either for God or you are for the Devil. When I was growing up, something deep down in my spirit said that this doesn’t feel right. I didn’t want to go evangelize or judge others for choosing a different way to connect to God. Eventually when I became an adult, I completely moved away from Christianity all together and stopped going to church. I was tired of the heaviness, judgement and obligation. I wanted to be free and just live my life how I wanted to. I was never an atheist and I still believed in a higher power but I definitely didn’t have a spiritual practice.
Throughout the quarantine, I started watching and consuming a lot of social media including a new platform called TikTok. TikTok is one of the newer social media platforms that’s popular with Gen Z. It’s known for a lot of dancing and funny videos, but there’s also a lot of truth and wisdom on this platform. There’s a whole spiritual side of TikTok where spiritual content creators are creating videos explaining different spiritual and metaphysical concepts. I mainly started watching videos that were talking about metaphysics and spirituality. I learned different spiritual concepts explaining that we as humans are multidimensional and are a lot more powerful than we have been led to believe. We as humans are all one and we came from the same Source. We chose to incarnate on this planet at this specific time to have a temporary experience and to learn the lessons we each individually need to learn. Something about this resonated deep with my soul. I started learning about the power of our thoughts and how everything is made up of frequency in this Universe and that everyone has the power to control their own reality. It’s life changing and so powerful. If you are looking for a place to start, I highly recommend watching spiritual teachers like Phil Good and Elizabeth April. They are amazing. Check them out!
I started to chew on these spiritual concepts more and more and I started to meditate everyday in order to calm my mind and align with my Higher Self. Mediation brings you back to your center and calms down frantic thoughts. Mediation is challenging but I always feel better after I choose to meditate. I decided to stop watching the news. I started spending a lot more time in nature and with my dog. I started seeing angel numbers everywhere, which are the same numbers such as 11:11 and 2:22. I started seeing how everything is connected and how we each have a part to play. I have felt this overwhelming sense of peace and calm. I finally feel like I have found my true passion and purpose in life. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with anxiety but it is nothing like how it was before. I absolutely love learning about metaphysics and spirituality. I decided to start this blog to write and discuss different spiritual concepts that I’m learning and to document my spiritual journey. I’m so excited to see where this takes me and what the future holds!
